Why does this keeps happening to me…

I keep thinking that I just don´t deserve anything good!

I feel like shit! I keep screwing it up… I should put an end to this! i sick of pretending that everything is okay, everybody is looking at me like I’m some kind of monster! Maybe I’m…

Maybe I do deserve to be left alone!

I´m no good…. Nobody wants a broken one… no matter what I do, I can´t keep up, they keep putting me down! Shit, dawn!! The words keep getting out of my dark and twisted mind, i need some action… why don´t I cut my self this time for good?? Why don´t I just get it over with… get it done… stop saying and writing this foolish stuff and…JUST END IT!!

The answer is because I’m weak… I’m always hiding, under this shell!!!

No one will ever know the true me, no one can know, even I am not shore of who I am! Even better: no one wants to know the real me! I´m doomed, to hide the rest of my self!

Don´t know why I keep doing this… sometimes I just want to give up!

And probably this letter or whatever this as became won’t change a thing, probably no one will notice that I wrote it… that’s because maybe no one cares! But whatever, I’m learning ….

Learning how to gain control!!!

The problem is I doesn´t matter anymore… the only thing we have left is Death, nothing else! :/

nothing makes sence

I...

felt a lot of diferent ways...

but never like this...

impotent, useless..stupid!

completely empty!

i can't even express myself...

i mean, it isn't suppost to hurt this bad...it shouldn't hurt!

i find my self, thinking..about death..

if i knew that all the suffering would go away...

if i just knew!!!

everything around me..it's getting black, like frozen.. so afraid of being alone!

but in the end it's just!

nothing makes sence and i feel like i'm losing it!

earing things, and stuff!
death seems the only solution!

!!.......i don't want to be alone!

feels like no one cares!!

no one have time for...just listen!

need a way out!

i'm stuck here!!!!

need to get out

Time

Times is passing in front of my eyes... even yesterday i was thinking about what i should do with my life, and now, today, in these couple days i have to be shore...

(so fast)

my point is that i need more time.

in onether distant day i was thinking "i'm so far to even bother with that issue...dah start to think what i have to became!! why??"

and now i have be really shore.. and i'm going to be older in no time and i have done nothing to my life..

you may think that i'm over reacting but remember time passes really quick and even now with this age i'm feeling all this emptyness inside.. and i just decided to do everything to put that feeling behind..... and at least try to enjoy every moment!!!!!

Don't be afraid...

This is who i really am...

a person with many issues just likeeverybody else...

why bother?? why change??.. if you don't like it.. get going..

now seriously i don't like to be alone...

it's to exausting.. to depressing. but in onether hand i do like to be alone... that way no one buggs me!!!!

capice???!!!

kx

Onether teer!!

Desperation, completly out of control....

don't know what am i supose to do..... completly lost....

so lost-...

such a will to ....... you!!!

but you won't let me...... why?!?

so tired.....

after all it doesn't matter any way... i'm given up, this world is pulling everything that i've got....

really so lost.. i' ve to find myself!!!!

..................in the end!!!

love really sucks!!!

let's trough it away!!!!

......i feel so alone, and because of you, my lover......

l.o.v.e.!!! sUcks!!!!

So depressive

who am i?? really... does any one know's me..

i don't think so.....

so lost....so confused...so....

why does it got to be so unfair...

all of this... all alie...

but such a beatiful lie that i am living...

the problem isn't if someone loves me or not, it's about... me!!!

me not knowing what to think what to do, and what to be....

if they knew what i think........ sometimes i just want to end it... but i have to resiste!!!

to be strong!!

stuck

i´m stuck in this world, where anyone pays attention to what i say...

"your pain is painfull, and it's putting me down"

"can we worked out"

i can't stand the sound of your scream....

ok.. let's pretend that everything is all rigth!

.............................................................................................................................................................................

so far away from what i am..!!!